Home is a Blank Canvas

Home is a Blank Canvas

a blank canvas that holds my heart

welcomes my hands, my art.

Home is the pen that cradles my words,

soft and soothing,

a lullaby to my tired soul.

Home looks like the sunlight I savour,

bringing warmth to a body that carries a chill

towards itself.

It is a gentleness that I wrap myself in,

and a tightness that grips my shoulders,

it’s hard to let go of home.

Home tastes like the water I drink, the tea I sip.

Home gives me life.

Smells like spring rain,

washing away heaviness of seasons before.

Home has been feeling insignificant, staying small,

afraid to bloom.

Home feels like soft petals of pink flowers between my fingertips;

the tender hand that caresses my cheek.

Home is where I open my heart,

my hands

in prayer.

Home is where I feel safe to do so.

Home sounds like the joy of laughter,

lyrics to the soundtrack of a life well shared.

Home is the soil, the clay, from which I’m made,

unto which I will return.

I looked for home in the father I couldn’t grieve;

I left home in the little girl I abandoned so many years ago,

I found home by re-embraicng her and grief, too.

I’ve lived several lifetimes in search of home,

been many faces in the quest for belonging -

Home was closer than I thought,

yet always just out of reach.

I’ve travelled far from home,

yet never taken a single step.

The distance from my head to my heart always felt like

a treacherous trek.

While the distance from my heart to my hands

a much safer, effortless journey.

Home is within me, home is without me;

Home is the journey I took to find myself.

Home is this living earth,

The trees that give me breathing space,

they are home.

Home is peace;

salamat ka ghar;

aman ka ghar.

Home lives in the memories I’ve yet to make;

it can’t dwell in the past I’ve forgotten…

or never knew.

Home is my heart held in my hands,

offered in pain, in peace, in praise to Him.

I’ve searched my whole life for home, for belonging.

I have emigrated from my old self,

from my besieged heart,

and found a tranquil place to land.

it has been a yearning that has brought me back,

to my own heart,

my own hands.

…this is home.

This piece was originally featured in The Green Room’s HOME Exhibit, a group exhibit exploring the complex topics of home and belonging, capturing the warm and harsh realities beyond the four walls of a house.